something i felt on this day

is this another reason for me to cry? but it's not supposed to be. and yet, it hurts, damn hurts. it cut my heart yet deep again and i couldn't control my tears. i just let it out? maybe i should or else i might burst. i just don't know where to hide, i couldn't cry in front of many people. maybe later i'll just let it out. it's just too much to take in, it hurts, damn hurts. if i try to sleep, i would end up wetting my pillow with tears. i just don't know how to deal with it yet again. i have just mended my broken heart recently and now it's cutting my heart again, tearing it into million pieces again. and it's going to be a long way to mend it again. why does have to be like this? unfair? no, it's just that i let myself go into insanity believing that fantasies could come true. i still haven't learned my lessons.i'm down and depressed, but what can i do? i'll just pour my heart out, pen in hand and paper to write on. i'm just always thankful that whenever i'm down and depressed, my trusted friend is always there waiting for me to get it and let myheart pour out all i feel every now and then, just like now. and now, it still hurts, damn hurts, cutting my heart deeper and deeper until i feel numb and it's like i couldn't cry anymore. no emotions felt, nowhere to go. it's like walking in the middle of the road with no direction, looking up at the sky, wishing...crying...praying that this is not happening because i don't want to fall again with no one to catch me... my wings are broken...again...help me fly again and i hope someone will fly beside me...forever...